Choosing to write your own wedding vows can be scary for most couples, because even if you love each other deeply, you don’t know how to write it, or maybe you’re not comfortable expressing your love for the whole world to hear. So how do you write one? Here’s how you come up with the heartfelt wedding vows that you’ve always wanted.
How to Write Your Wedding Vows
Talk about it with your partner. You can keep the content a surprise, but you have to agree on a couple of things, like if both of you are on board with actually writing the vows yourself, and how long or short you want it to be.
Don’t create a tearjerker. When you go into writing your vows hoping that it will make your fiancée and your entire guests cry, that is going to put a lot of pressure on yourself that you don’t need. It will make you feel too frozen to write anything! Or, you might end up making your love story more dramatic than it really is, just to make sure that everyone will be touched with what you said. The best way to start is just to let the words flow.
Write anything you want. The stress of writing it comes from being scared of saying the wrong thing and upsetting your spouse. Or maybe you know you’re not really good with words. Rather than letting these fears get to you, just start writing. Don’t think about grammar, about if the sentences make sense, if it’s in perfect english, tagalog, or whatever language—just write without thinking. If you’re wondering where to begin, try to recall the first time you met. You can also describe your future spouse and what makes him or her the person you’ll be spending forever with is a good place to start.
Sleep on it. After pouring your heart out, reading it with blurry, tired, or lovesick eyes won’t be your best bet when it comes to editing what you wrote. Step away and take a break, or sleep. Editing can wait after a few hours, when you can read it with fresh eyes and a clear head.
Practice talking to your spouse. After sleeping on it, read it out loud in front of a mirror, and imagine that you’re reciting it in front of your future spouse. How do you think he or she will react? Is it clear enough for you to understand, and were you able to say everything you wanted to say?
Edit grammar and sentence construction like a student. Catching errors yourself will only work if you edit your work with fresh eyes. Imagine that you’re reading the vows of a complete stranger. Reading it aloud will also help you spot errors better—if something doesn’t sound right to you, change it.
Spot the secrets and sensitive spots. Avoid turning your wedding into a reality show that’s full of drama and tantrums. Look out for anything that your guests might find offensive or hurtful, or something that you and your spouse agreed to keep between you two.
Time it. If you want your future spouse to pay attention and remember what you said, keep it short, sweet, and straight to the point. And, anything longer than five minutes will seem like an eternity to your guests, so it’s best to cut it short.
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